Too much wisdom to handle...

Ten or so years ago, when I was still a wee little boy in primary school, I submitted an essay into a Chinese children's magazine, called 'da hong hua' or something, entitled 'ba ya ji' - which literally means "A visit to the dentist". That essay eventually got published in the magazine and I got a few prizes. But, the thing was...it was neither REAL nor ORIGINAL. But, what I'm about to share with you below is the real deal. Warning: Graphic and amusing illustrations ahead.

9'30am: Me: "Hello...Sandy Bay Dental Centre? I would like to make an appointment to have my wisdom tooth checked up." Receptionist: "Yup, I can put you in at 2pm." Me: "Yup! That'd be good." R: "So, who would you like? Dr Gordon Henry or Dr Sherina Parmar?" Me: (Thinks to myself...maybe a lady doctor would be more gentle with it..) Uhm..Dr Parmar?" R:"Yup, sure. See you later then." Me: "See ya."

1'45pm: Happily nibbling away at some cut apples... Trying to calm the qualm in me. Tells housemate to inform my parents that 'I love them' if I don't make it.

2pm: Arrives at clinic. Fills in registration form and waits for name to be called out. And soon enough, "Daniel? We'll see you now."

I walk into the room seeing 3 ladies all dressed in uniform. Nice, I thought. I proceed to tell the doctor what is it that's bothering me and that I thought it could be an infection around my wisdom tooth at my top right corner of my upper jaw. She proceeds to check all of my teeth..."no. 23, 24..18...19's got amalgamation.." Apparently, that's how they refer to teeth. They have a specific number to everyone of them. Then, she proceeds to tell me that the particular area is infected pretty badly and advices that I have it extracted. I was like "Wha??? Extraction? Can't you just clean that area and make the infection go away?" D:" I can...but it's pretty bad.. and it will be recurring if you don't get it out, because the area is quite deep inside and it'd be hard to keep that area clean." Me: " Ok.... if you think it fit..." She then proceeds to do what every fast food retailer does, upSIZE! "So, would you like us to clean your teeth as well or just the extraction?" I'm already shitting in my pants from the thought of having my tooth extracted and you think I'm that concerned about having my teeth look all sparkly and white? "Uhm..no thanks. I'll just have the "burger", no "fries or drinks", thank you very much."

She brings out a cool-looking machine... I thought she was gonna get it out by just zapping it..Nope. That was just the x-ray. Darn.

"I'm gonna inject some anesthetic into that area to numb it. Just take deep breathes in and out and relax." Here we go, I thought to myself.

There was alot of pushing, pulling, bleeding, rinsing, spitting... pushing, pulling, rinsing and spitting. After what felt like 15 minutes of all that, I suddenly heard a "crack!" "Phew...it's over! That was painless and easy!" or so I thought to myself. As I was just about to get up, I heard her say to one of her nurses, "Can you please get the "......" (I forgot what she called it, but it sounded something like a PLIER or something..) The nurse replies, "Should I get the BIG one or the normal one?" Doc says "Nah..just the normal one will do."

Oh...that's comforting. Not. It's like saying "Shall I bring out the bazooka to deal with that big arse teeth of his?"

So, for the next 20 minutes or so, the doctor continued to pull, push and, with her new gadget, TWIST! Being the He-man that I am, I closed my eyes through most of the whole thing. But, I could feel like the doctor, who was initially sitting down, was in a half standing, half sitting position now as she continued to go through what almost felt like an Olympic tug-of-war event. In my mind, I kept praying "Oh God, either make my tooth just slide out now..or PLEASE grant this doctor superhuman strength right this moment!" Seriously, it felt like she took forever to get it out. Half way through, she looked up to one of the nurses, who was sucking all the saliva and blood out of my mouth, and SMIRKED...no no..it was more like a small GIGGLE! I'm pretty sure one other nurse was filming all this hilarity with the intention of posting it up on Facebook or Youtube. Because she was taking so long, I started feeling pain again. So, the doctor had to inject another dose of anesthetic into the affected area.

Finally, after another 5 minutes or so, I heard a sigh of relief from the doctor. The teeth was out! *the Hallelujah chorus sounding behind me* I went to the toilet after that to wipe the blood and saliva stains off my face after which I bit on a piece of cotton. While I was waiting to pay the bill, I saw a small notice with namecards of my doctor on the desk. And, just to add to the hilarity of it all, it wrote "Dr Parmar will see new patients now." Now, what on earth does that mean!?!? No wonder I thought she looked quite young to be a doctor.

And, the bill? $300! That's just $40 shy of how much I earn from giving Economics tuition for a month! Anyhow, someone told me that I should expect that sort of price tag as extracting a wisdom tooth in Malaysia would cost about RM1000?

Anyway, to cut the long story short, I had to go through head-throbbing and body-shaking pain for the next 2 hours or so as I lie on the beanbag on the floor. I also took 2 panadols to help ease the pain. I guess for the next few days, I'll have to survive on porridge and liquids. Yumm.. Now, to prepare for the two exams that's coming up. God, I need You.