Can you speak "LAW"???

I came across this parody on how lawyers and judges are often unneccesarily verbose and excessively complex in their language... and I found it to be quite interesting... :-)

Do you know the all-too-famous nursery rhyme "JACK & JILL"? something about Jack going up the hill and fetching a pail of water and both Jack and Jill fell down or something.. Well...this is the accident report that could have been written by their lawyer if they had one...

ACCIDENT REPORT
The party of the first part hereinafter known as Jack and... The party of the second part known hereinafter known as Jill...Ascended or caused to be ascended an elevation of undetermined height and degree of slope, hereinafter referred to as "hill".

Whose purpose it was to obtain, attain, procure, secure, or otherwise, gain acquisition to, by any and/or all means available to them a receptable or container, hereinafter known as "pail", suitable for the transport of a liquid whose chemical properties shall be limited to hydrogen and oxygen, the proportions of which shall not be less than or exceed two parts of the first mentioned element and one part for the latter. Such combination will hereinafter be called "water". On the occasion stated above, it has been established beyond reasonable doubt that Jack did plunge, tumble, topple, or otherwise was caused to lose his footing in a manner that caused his body to be thrust into a downward direction. As a result of these combined circumstances, Jack suffered fractures and contusions of his cranial regions. Jill, whether due to Jack's misfortunes or not, was known to also tumble in similar fashion after Jack. (Whether the term, "after", shall be interpreted in a spatial or time passage sense, has not been determined).

5 yrs later, I'll be writing like that! :P Hehe...take care and god bless!